ps_ulano says:
There's no correct answer to this, because it depends on the situation. I am a product of a relationship where the father 'went ghost' way before I was born. He was never part of my life, I never met him or know what he looks like; therefore, I never carried his surname. Instead, at birth, I was given my mother's maiden. My grandfather's surname who, although married to my grandmother, had little involvement in my mother's life since he was a polygamist and has several sets of families (a foreign culture).
When my mother married, I briefly assumed my step-father's surname. When they divorced my mother changed both mine and her surnames back to her maiden name, while my sibling from that marriage kept their biological father's surname. He never adopted me as my mother hoped he would.
I have a cousin who was also born into her mom's maiden surname. Luckily, her biological parents married when she was in her teens and she assumed her real father's surname.
I would encourage anyone to avoid changing their child's surname, especially when it involves a step-parent's name. If you do so, make sure they have been adopted, legally so. I went through a long period of confusion, resentment, feelings of rejection, and an identity crisis at too young of an age. And, this, no one really paid attention to.
If a man has stepped up and officially taken the roll of fathering your child, I don't see why a child's name should not change. But make sure it's not on some fickle, fake crap, please talk to your child to see how they feel about it. Don't impose your desires onto your child when it comes to this.
Answered 12 months ago
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